


Ceremony

by pixieyutoda



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, F/M, Group chat, M/M, Memes, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, established Jung Wooseok/Yan An, my shitty sense of humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-07-08 16:09:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15933902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixieyutoda/pseuds/pixieyutoda
Summary: mcshoulders: i’m shinwon!! i major in fashion design nd my broad shoulders get the bitches weT click clacK *gunshot noise*ginho: i already can’t stand youin which shinwon creates a groupchat and chaos ensues.





	1. making friends

 

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser 

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok 

shinwon- mcshoulders 

hui- sunshine  

jinho- ginho

wooseok- bambi 

yanan - thumper

hyojong - plant hoe 

{ 5:34 p.m }

 

**skate fast eat ass**

 

_mcshoulders added (9) people to the chat!_

 

 **celery bitch:** shinwon what the fuck

 

 **ginho:** whomst???

 

 **ginho:** what is this

 

 **hungseok:** uhhhh what the fuck is up kyle

 

 **naganope:** ???

 

 **bambi:** is this another gc for you to get hw answers instead of studying urself?? bc i’m not helping u cheat again

 

 **mcshoulders:** nah i’m just bored and someONE was complaining about not knowing enough ppl on campus so i threw this together

 

 **mcshoulders:** now be friends and love each other forever

 

 **bambi:** that’s….not how that works but okay

 

 **pennywiser:** way to put me on blast

 

 **mcshoulders:** actUALLy you exposed yourself bc i never specified who was complaining

 

 **bambi:** congratulations you played yourself

 

 **pennywiser:** stfu wooseok with ur expired ass memes

 

 **celery bitch:** uhh i knew

 

 **celery bitch:** hyunggu whines more than my 3 year old cousin

 

 **celery bitch:** cries more too

 

 **pennywiser:** changgu u watched happy feet and sobbed for 15 minutes

 

 **celery bitch:** ,,,,,,touche

 

 **sunshine:** umm am i the only one who knows no one here?

 

 **sunshine:** or at least i don’t think i do, you all have weird ass names

 

 **mcshoulders:** let’s all introduce ourselves then ! i’ll start since i know most of y’all already

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’m shinwon!! i major in fashion design nd my broad shoulders get the bitches weT click clacK *gunshot noise*

 

 **ginho:** i already can’t stand you

 

 **thumper:** that’s part of shinwon hyung’s ‘charm’

 

 **thumper:** or so he claims

 

 **mcshoulders:** the first thing you say in the gc is roasting me smh it’s always the quiet ones

 

 **celery bitch:** you’re handsome though so it makes up for,,,

 

 **pennywiser:** how messy your personality is??

 

 **celery bitch:** i was gonna say everything but that works too

 

 **mcshoulders:** be nice to me )):<

 

 **celery bitch:** nah

 

 **bambi:** i’ll go next !

 

 **bambi:** i’m wooseok, i’m not sure what i’m majoring in yet bc i’m an indecisive ass bitch, nd the hyungs treat me like a baby even thO I’M 6’2 nd a grown ass man

 

 **thumper:** bc u are one

 

 **celery bitch:** shut up infant

 

 **bambi:** … do you see what i mean

 

 **celery bitch:** i’m changgu, i’m loud and i’m a drama major woop woop

 

 **ginho:** rlly?? i’m also a drama major

 

 **ginho:** have you been in any plays lately?

 

 **celery bitch:** no )): <

 

 **celery bitch:** i auditioned for lead role in all shook up but some douche named jjingoo or whatever got the part

 

 **naganope:** FUCIKshsh

 

 **naganope:** hyung i’m calling you jjingoo forever now

 

 **ginho:** fuck off u shop at hot topic

 

 **naganope:** i only get cute plushies from there shut up )):

 

 **celery bitch:** wait you’re the dickneck who got lead role??

 

 **ginho:** yes tis i,,,the dickneck™ and my name is jinho

 

 **ginho:** that’s the only introduction you’re getting from me

 

 **thumper:** ig i’ll go next then

 

 **thumper:** i’m yanan, i moved here from china a few years ago and i’m majoring in childhood development

 

 **bambi:** hyungs gonna be the best !!!  kindergarten teacher ever

 

 **sunshine:** i just noticed u guys have matching nicknames how soft

 

 **hungseok:** wow that’s adorable

 

 **thumper:** wooseok changed mine without my permission

 

 **bambi:** you didn’t change it back though (((((:

 

 **thumper:** shh

 

 **sunshine:**......cute

 

 **sunshine:** i’m hui, i major in music engineering and i wanna be a producer

 

 **plant hoe:** hui hui!!!

 

 **plant hoe:** u do know someone in this chat uwu

 

 **sunshine:** hyojong??

 

 **plant hoe:** in the flesh

 

 **plant hoe:** or well,,,,in the text

 

 **plant hoe:** hui forgot to add that he’s my platonic soulmate

 

 **sunshine:** umm correct ! me and hyojong will probably get married and sleep in two seperate beds like bert and ernie and adopt tons of cats by the time we’re 35

 

 **plant hoe:** and it’s not even bc i need a visa! let’s talk about true love ladies nd gents

 

 **naganope:** how wholesome

 

 **pennywiser:** adopt me too

 

 **pennywiser:** u seem like u’d be good parents

 

 **mcshoulders:** don’t listen to him he’s just in it for the cats

 

 **pennywiser:** shuT UP SHINWON

 

 **plant hoe:** we’re not currently taking son applications but you’ll be first priority when we do

 

 **pennywiser:** i feel so special

 

 **hungseok:** make that two hui hyung!

 

 **sunshine:** oh hongseok !! an actual angel placed on this earth hello

 

 **hungseok:** aw shucks ( ˘ ³˘)

 

 **celery bitch:** who says that anymore

 

 **hungseok:** me, mind ur business

 

 **hungseok:** i’m hongseok, me and hyojong share a dorm nd a lizard

 

 **thumper:** i thought animals weren’t allowed on campus

 

 **hungseok:** you thought right

 

 **thumper:** ,,,,,what kind of lizard is it

 

 **plant hoe:** issa gecko

 

 **hungseok:** his name is dr. professor

 

 **bambi:** i want to be his best friend

 

 **bambi:** don’t be surprised if i show up @@ ur dorm for gecko bonding time

 

 **mcshoulders:** i-

 

 **mcshoulders:** who’s next??

 

 **ginho:** yuto you should go

 

 **naganope:** don’t put me on the spot jjingoo

 

 **ginho:** just gO

 

 **naganope:** hi my name’s yuto and i play baseball

 

 **ginho:** smh why are you so dry

 

 **ginho:** he forgot to mention he’s a bomb ass rapper, only ever wears the color black (emo ass nerd) and is also the softest person i’ve ever met in my life

 

 **plant hoe:** softer than hui??

 

 **ginho:** softer than hui

 

 **plant hoe:** wow i’m feeling the urge to protect you with my life rn yuto ngl

 

 **naganope:** i’ll take that as a compliment

 

 **plant hoe:** you should

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m kino!! or hyunggu you can call me whatever

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m a dance major nd i perform with my dance team!

 

 **hungseok:** oh oh !! you’re that really flexible dude who tripped, did a split and ripped his pants last year

 

 **mcshoulders:** I JUST SPIT OUT MY CHOCOLATE MILK

 

 **celery bitch:** oh the good old days

 

 **pennywiser:** please don’t remind me

 

 **pennywiser:** i’ve never wanted to forget something more in my life

 

 **pennywiser:** and i walked in on my dad hitting it from the back

 

 **naganope:** omg i’m so sorry

 

 **pennywiser:** thank u kind soul

  
**pennywiser:** i wish stores sold clorox for your brain

 

 **thumper:** just drink some bleach, see what happens

 

 **pennywiser:** is that a threat

 

 **bambi:** babe can u dial it down a notch pls

 

 **thumper:** idk how to do that

 

 **celery bitch:** wait,,,,you guys are dating??

 

 **bambi:** changgu are you kidding me

 

 **bambi:** you’ve known me for a year

 

 **celery bitch:** when you introduced me to yanan all you said was ‘this is yanan he’s my favorite human’

 

 **celery bitch:** i didn’t know that meant y’all were in loooveee

 

 **mcshoulders:** they’ve been dating for almost 6 months what are you on

 

 **celery bitch:** i snort cheeto dust in my freetime

 

 **plant hoe:** y’know what,,,,

 

 **plant hoe:** i think we’re all gonna get along just fine

 

 **ginho:** we’ll see

 

 **sunshine:** thanks for creating this gc shinwon

 

 **sunshine:** this is more entertaining than actually doing my chem homework

 

 **mcshoulders:** no problem!

 

 **mcshoulders:** thank hyunggu for being an attention whore

 

 **pennywiser:** it’s not my fault that when we hang out all you and changgu do is argue and ignore me )):

 

 **hungseok:** i’d never ignore u hyunggu ((:

 

 **pennywiser:** see !! be more like hongseok

 

 **plant hoe:** nah hongseok’s just rlly gay and gives every man who breathes in his general direction attention

 

 **hungseok:** that’s not true! i have standards

 

 **sunshine:** you hooked up with the guy who works at 7-11 for a free slushy on free slushy day

 

 **hungseok:** ...yeah not one of my best moments

 

 **ginho:** why is everyone in this group chat chaotic

 

 **thumper:** i think shinwon just attracts that kind of energy

 

 **bambi:** the most chill person in this gc rn has to be yuto tbh

 

 **bambi:** after that,,,y’all all are on some other shit

 

 **ginho:** don’t let his quietness fool you

 

 **naganope:** shhhhh

 

 **ginho:** i watched yuto shove ¾ of a burrito in his mouth bc i told him he couldn’t deep throat

 

 **ginho:** and then a fight broke out in the qdoba right in front of our table and he didn’t move bc he had ¼ of a burrito to finish

 

 **naganope:** i knew that if one of them hit me i’d probably end up getting free tex mex for life so i rlly wasn’t that bothered

 

 **pennywiser:** big dick energy

 

 **plant hoe:** i still wanna protecc

 

 **hungseok:** he protecc

 

 **hungseok:** he attacc

 

 **hungseok:** he has drugs in his backpacc

 

 **mcshoulders:** hyojong u got the illegals??

 

 **plant hoe:** i’m a horticulture major

 

 **plant hoe:** what do you think

 

 **sunshine:** wait,,,

 

 **sunshine:** when u told me u guys were growing mushrooms you didn’t mean the eating kind did u?

 

 **plant hoe:** ((;

 

 **bambi:** wowie we’re off to such a good start  



	2. of kinks and things

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- ginho 

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 3:34 p.m }

 

**_skate fast eat ass_ **

 

 **hungseok:** why is shinwon drinking vodka in the middle of the caf

 

 **ginho:** ...excuse me

 

 **thumper:** some kid eating a grilled cheese handed it to him and he drunk it without knowing what it was

 

 **thumper:** then he found out and kept drinking it

 

 **bambi:** why are you the way that you are

 

 **bambi:** follow up question

 

 **bambi:** why do you accept drinks from strangers

 

 **mcshoulders:** bc mama ain’t raise no bitch

 

 **mcshoulders:** and i stayed up until 4 am writing a 12 page research paper so daddy needs a drink

 

 **sunshine:** pls don’t refer to urself as daddy

 

 **mcshoulders:** don’t kinkshame me

 

 **hungseok:** hui is the last person who can kinkshame anyone tbh

 

 **naganope:** *eyes emoji*

 

 **ginho:** *eyes emoji* x 2

 

 **sunshine:** ...what do you know

 

 **hungseok:** i’ve heard some things

 

 **pennywiser:** omg does hui have a foot fetish

 

 **mcshoulders:** if u say yes i’m legally obligated to kick u out of this gc

 

 **sunshine:** i do NOT have a foot fetish

 

 **naganope:** are u a furry hyung

 

 **naganope:** it’s okay i don’t judge

 

 **sunshine:** NO

 

 **celery bitch:** horton hears a bitch ass liar

 

 **plant hoe:** if anyone in this chat is a furry it’s shinwon

 

 **mcshoulders:** fight me

 

 **plant hoe:** you didn’t deny it tho

 

 **bambi:** u into like

 

 **bambi:** rlly old ladies??

 

 **bambi:** i saw that on my strangest addictions

 

 **thumper:** oh yeah we watched that episode last week

 

 **thumper:** dude was banging grandmas like 60 and up

 

 **sunshine:** i’m not fucking grandmas y’all need to sTOP

 

 **ginho:** spill the tea hongseok

 

 **sunshine:** don’t you dare

 

 **sunshine:** i will murder you and bury your body beneath the mcdonalds on route 4

 

 **naganope:** oH

 

 **pennywiser:** oH

 

 **celery bitch:** ur name is literally sunshine why are you threatening

people

 

 **sunshine:** bc i can

 

 **ginho:** is it that bad??

 

 **mcshoulders:** omg ghost hongseok and me would have so much fun @ mickey d’s

 

 **hungseok:** idk guys i rlly like living

 

 **hungseok:** plus there’s this guy in my poetry and politics class that i’m tryna dick down

 

 **hungseok:** and i don’t wanna die before i get to do that

 

 **plant hoe:** hui’s into puppy play

 

 **thumper:** OOP

 

 **naganope:** ehh i was pretty close

 

 **mcshoulders:** A TWIST i wAS NOT EXPECTING

 

 **sunshine:** betrayAL

 

 **plant hoe:** honey it’s not that bad

 

 **plant hoe:** u could be into like golden showers or smth

 

 **plant hoe:** i walked in on u with a tail buttplug in and i still love u

 

 **ginho:** honestly i was expecting something way worse

 

 **sunshine:** stop exposing me hyojong

 

 **hungseok:** this is the part where hui sulks until hyo buys him reese’s ice cream

 

 **hungseok:** if i would have said it i’d be dead by now

 

 **naganope:** i don’t think hui hyung is capable of murder

 

 **hungseok:** that’s what he wants you to think

 

 **mcshoulders:** if it makes u feel better hyung i actually do have a daddy kink

 

 **pennywiser:** changgu just choked on a breadstick

 

 **mcshoulders:** did y’all go to olive garden without me )):

 

 **celery bitch:** no we’re eating leftovers from last night when we went without you

 

 **mcshoulders:** )))))):

 

 **thumper:** wooseok’s a sub

 

 **thumper:** since we’re throwing kinks out there

 

 **bambi:** bABE

 

 **thumper:** what

 

 **ginho:** that doesn’t surprise me either

 

 **pennywiser:** oh we been knew

 

 **bambi:** wait

 

 **bambi:** what about me screams sub

 

 **sunshine:** everything

 

 **mcshoulders:** wooseok u still use the glittery lip gloss i got u from claires as a gag gift last christmas

 

 **celery bitch:** u know ur a big boy so u purposely wear oversized clothes to make urself seem smoller

 

 **naganope:** i saw you on campus today and you were wearing a baby blue sweater suckin on a lollipop

 

 **bambi:** you saw me on campus and didn’t say hi??

 

 **naganope:** i get nervous

 

 **bambi:** understandable

 

 **pennywiser:** changgu likes being choked

 

 **celery bitch:** shut up

 

 **mcshoulders:** why do u know that

 

 **pennywiser:** are you rlly best friends if you don’t know each others kinks??

 

 **ginho:** idk yuto’s but that’s only bc i don’t think he has any

 

 **naganope:** kinda hard to figure out what you’re into when you’ve only had sex once

 

 **plant hoe:** ehh dick game isn’t that bomb on campus anyway

 

 **hungseok:** you have a whole girlfriend hyojong

 

 **plant hoe:** that doesn’t mean i wasn’t a hoe last year

 

 **plant hoe:** maybe things have changed

 

 **thumper:** new year new dick

 

 **mcshoulders:** wait…

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’m curious about smth

 

 **mcshoulders:** has anyone in this gc fucked

 

 **mcshoulders:** besides yanwoo obv

 

 **plant hoe:** …

 

 **sunshine:** ……..

 

 **hungseok:** ……......

 

 **ginho:** WOW

 

 **pennywiser:** IM VSCREAMING

 

 **thumper:** what a trio

 

 **naganope:** i thought you said you and hui are platonic soulmates

 

 **plant hoe:** we are noW

 

 **hungseok:** it was a friendly threesome

 

 **sunshine:** we watched adventure time afterwards

 

 **celery bitch:** was that ‘dick isn’t that bomb on campus’ an indirect

 

 **plant hoe:** nO NO

 

 **plant hoe:** hongseok’s nickname isn’t a lie nd hui’s mouth,,,

 

 **plant hoe:** i was very satisfied

 

 **mcshoulders:** what has this gc turned into

 

 **bambi:** you asked

 

 **mcshoulders:** i didn’t think y’all were just fuckIN tho

 

**_celery bitch changed the chat name to { gays gone wild }_ **

 

 **ginho:** is any one in this gc straight??

 

 **hungseok:** bold of you to assume shinwon has straight friends

 

 **naganope:** straight...is that some kind of sauce

 

 **pennywiser:** idk sounds like some kind of disease

 

 **bambi:** “oh no i got the hetero!” sounds terrifying

 

 **thumper:** miss me with that straight shit

 

 **ginho:** that answers my question ty

 

 **sunshine:** the level of gay chaotic energy in this chat is astounding

 

 **mcshoulders:** wow i rlly did thaT

 

 **plant hoe:** actually hyunggu did that u just put the pieces together

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’ll just go fuck myself then

 

 **bambi:** do u call urself daddy when u do that

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’m not answering that question

 

 **thumper:** is that a yes then

 

 **mcshoulders:** i can’t deal with y’all

 

 **pennywiser:** now you know how we feel

 

 **mcshoulders:** get fucked

 

 **pennywiser:** i wish

 

 **pennywiser:** gay guys avoid me like the plague

 

 **celery bitch:** you???

 

 **celery bitch:** power bottom of the year??

 

 **pennywiser:** ik right )): <

 

 **pennywiser:** i even put a gay flag pin on my backpack so they know i’m not fuckin around

 

 **pennywiser:** and this is what i get

 

 **plant hoe:** maybe the dick just isn’t worthy

 

 **plant hoe:** the good dick comes to those who wait

 

 **sunshine:** it rolls up in a limo and steps onto a red carpet

 

 **bambi:** it wears versace and smokes cigars

 

 **naganope:** why would you want a smoking dick anywhere near you

 

 **bambi:** hey if it’s good it’s good

 

 **bambi:** ain’t that right pumpkin

 

 **thumper:** my dick is a lil more dignified but i agree

 

 **ginho:** you guys are the worst lmao

 

 **plant hoe:** we know

 

 **sunshine:** we know

 

 **bambi:** we know

  
**mcshoulders:** y'all made me finish grilled cheese guy's vodka i hope you're happy 

 

 **celery bitch:** ecstatic 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you sm for the support so far on this fic it means a lot!!


	3. hi welcome to chili's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shinwon gets a lil salty nd hyojong's in a bathtub

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- ginho

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 3:55 p.m }

 

**_gays gone wild_ **

 

 **mcshoulders** : i’m in my dorm with the door closed why can i hear hyunggu laughing from here

 

 **bambi:** bc he’s in our dorm and we’re playing mario kart

 

 **bambi:** yknow how he scream laughs when he gets angry?? that’s what you’re hearing rn

 

 **celery bitch:** oh that’s what that noise is??

 

 **celery bitch:** i thought there were foxes outside

 

 **pennywiser:** are yOU of all ppl rlly coming at me for my laugh??

 

 **thumper:** oop

 

 **bambi:** we invited yuto too so we could be 98 gang ganG in this bitch but he said he was dying so he couldn’t come

 

 **bambi** : i think it was just an excuse not to hang with us T^T

 

 **planthoe:** ‘98 gAnG GaNg iN tHiS BitCH’ y’all are playing mariO

 

 **pennywiser:** your point??

 

 **ginho:** yuto was being a lil dramatic but it wasn’t an excuse

 

 **ginho:** he’s been sick for the past two days

 

 **sunshine:** poor baby )):

 

 **ginho:** he keeps sending me cat memes and crying emojis

 

 **ginho:** and now he’s making me bring him ramen

 

 **hungseok:** he’s making you?? you said he was softer than hui

 

 **ginho:** he sent me a video of him pouting and i caved

 

 **pennywiser:** tell him i hope he feels better

 

 **celery bitch:** or u could just click on his user and tell him urself

 

 **pennywiser:** or you could just mind your business

 

 **thumper:** i feel like changgu gets told to mind his business a lot

 

 **mcshoulders:** that’s what happens when you’re a nosy bitch

 

 **celery bitch:** i’m tired of this slander

 

 **celery bitch:** this is why i’m going to chili’s with hongseok and not yoU

 

 **hungseok:** i’m picking u up at 5 right??

 

 **celery bitch:** yup! my class is done at 4:30 but i don’t wanna be a grimy bitch

 

 **celery bitch:** i get all my food from the convenience store most days so chili’s is fancy for me

 

 **celery bitch:** gotta look somewhat put together

 

 **celery bitch:** i might even wear a sweater

 

 **bambi:** are y’all,,,,,,going on a date

 

 **hungseok:** issa playdate

 

 **sunshine:** so a date….

 

 **celery bitch:** no a literal playdate

 

 **celery bitch:** turns out my mom knows hongseok’s mom and they want us to hang out and become best friends

 

 **hungseok:** i think ur mom wants some of my nerdiness to rub off on u

 

 **celery bitch:** not gonna happen

 

 **mcshoulders:** so it’s not a date?

 

 **celery bitch:** it’s a ‘we’re getting free food bc seok’s mom gave us a chilis gift card’ type thingy

 

 **pennywiser:** ...seok?

 

 **celery bitch:** hongseok’s too long of a name

 

 **ginho:** it’s 2 syllables

 

 **celery bitch:** i said what i said

 

 **naganope:** hello !!

 

 **naganope:** what did i miss

 

 **planthoe:** hongseok nd changgu are going on a date

 

 **naganope:** is shinwon okay with that?

 

 **thumper:** hUH

 

 **bambi:** *eyes emoji*

 

 **celery bitch:** it’s nOT a date

 

 **celery bitch:** but why wouldn’t he be?

 

 **naganope:** i thought you guys were dating…

 

 **naganope:** jinho said he saw you guys at the dairy queen holding hands

 

 **ginho:** yuto pls

 

 **mcshoulders:** me and changgu are not together

 

 **mcshoulders:** he told me before it would take him a LOt of alcohol to even sleep with me so

 

 **celery bitch:** i was joking !!

 

 **mcshoulders:** yeah i’m sure it was really funny to you

 

 **celery bitch:** shinwon..

 

 **planthoe:** o yoikes

 

 **pennywiser:** um yuto!

 

 **pennywiser:** are you feeling any better?

 

 **naganope:** yeah jinho hyung brought me food

 

 **naganope:** now we’re watching gordan ramsay yell @@ people

 

 **pennywiser:** sounds like my kinda night

 

 **naganope:** you guys can come over here if ur not scared to catch whatever mysterious illness i have

 

 **ginho:** i brought enough ramen to feed a small army so

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m down! wooseok?

 

 **bambi:** if ur leaving then i’ll stay

 

 **pennywiser:** rudE  

 

 **thumper:** actually what wooseok means is

 

 **thumper:** if you leave then i can give him the pipe

 

 **bambi:** babE

 

 **sunshine:** hyojong is cackling bc of this pls continue

 

 **thumper:** am i wrong tho

 

 **pennywiser:** since when do you care if i leave first??

 

 **pennywiser:** y’all fucked in mY ROOM

 

 **bambi:** that was ONE time

 

 **pennywiser:** you got nUT ON MY FAVORITE PILLOW

 

 **pennywiser:** and i am leaving so have fun

 

 **planthoe:** oh i’m sure he will lmAO

 

 **hungseok:** he’s literally wheezing

 

 **hungseok:** hyojong calm down

 

 **sunshine:** he had an edible like an hour ago pls ignore his grandpa noises

 

 **sunshine:** i told him not to eat the whole thing

 

 **sunshine:** but he was like nOooO i’m fine these aren’t that strong anyway

 

 **sunshine:** and then a half an hour later i caught him sitting in the bathtub and i asked him why

 

 **sunshine:** and he said idk man everything’s cooler in here and then made me get in the bathtub with him

 

 **hungseok:** then i got home and found them in the bathtub

 

 **ginho:** and got them out?

 

 **hungseok:** no we’re all just squeezed in here now

 

 **sunshine:** you should probably get out and get ready for your date honk

 

 **celery bitch:** um i just left class so i’ll see you in a bit

 

 **hungseok:** cool! i’ll wear smth snazzy

 

 **celery bitch:** why are you 60 years old

 

 **pennywiser:** where did shinwon hyung go tho )):

 

 **naganope:** i haven’t known him for long but ik he’s never this quiet

 

 **sunshine:** he texted me asking if he could join me and hyojong tonight

 

 **sunshine:** i said sure so he’s probably gonna take hongseok’s spot in the bathtub when he leaves

 

 **sunshine:** i also promised the good alcohols

 

 **hungseok:** don’t drink all my expensive stuff pls

 

 **sunshine:** you can buy mORE u rich bitch

 

 **planthoe:** and plus we have a ‘get shinwon trashed’ mission to accomplish

 

 **celery bitch:** don’t let him drink too much he gets wilD

 

 **planthoe:** shhh we got this worry about ur date

 

 **sunshine:** hongseok’ll be feeding you cavatappi under the moonlight

 

 **hungseok:** it’s not even 5 o clock yet

 

 **sunshine:** shh

 

 **sunshine:** and we’ll be here, ruining your apartment

 

 **ginho:** we’ll be eating ramen watching cooking shows

 

 **pennywiser:** wooseok’s probably already sucking some dick right now

 

 **pennywiser:** what a good nighT

 

 **bambi:** wow i’m not that much of a hoe you just left

 

 **thumper:** baby ur pants are literally off

 

 **bambi:** shUT-

 

 **sunshine:** ‘baby’ maybe i cooed

 

 **planthoe:** he did i heard it

 

 **hungseok:** i’m gna go get ready

 

 **mcshoulders:** have fun on your date

 

**{ mcshoulders left the chat }**

 

 **ginho:** double yoikes

 

 **naganope:** triple yoikes

 

 **pennywiser:** um changgu, is this a bad time to ask if you can bring me back some wings

 

 **celery bitch:** if you shut up i'll bring you home a doggy bag

 

 **pennywiser:** yes! okay shutting up now 

 

 **celery bitch:** good boy 

 


	4. too twinky for me

 

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- ginho  

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 8:15 pm }

 

hyojong changed the group name to

 

**got kicked outta taco bell**

 

 **bambi:** ,,,,,,why

 

 **ginho:** what did you do

 

 **sunshine:** nothing illegal

 

 **plant hoe:** that you can prove

 

 **plant hoe:** just kidding i only commit crimes after midnight

 

 **bambi:** if u get arrested for public intoxication i’m not bailing u out

 

 **sunshine:** we’re only like 4 shots in, none of us are drunk drunk

 

 **sunshine:** yeT

 

 **naganope:** then how’d you get kicked out?

 

 **plant hoe:** we brought mcdonalds intO the taco bell

 

 **plant hoe:** ig they don’t like friendly competition

 

 **thumper:** you could’ve just eaten at the mcdonalds tho…

 

 **sunshine:** tipsy shinwon doesn’t like the way their chairs feel against his butt

 

 **sunshine:** taco bell chairs are better according to him

 

 **pennywiser:** is he okay? is he gonna come back to the chat? )):

 

 **plant hoe:** he’s fine! he’s skipping down the street while eating a big mac

 

 **plant hoe:** OOPSJN he just tripped

 

 **plant hoe:** he scraped his elbow but he’s fine

 

 **sunshine:** he said he’ll join again in the morning when he’s hungover and grumpy

 

 **pennywiser:** tell him i miss him being loud

 

 **sunshine:** he screamed at my phone screen for u

 

 **pennywiser:** aw i heard it in my heart

 

 **pennywiser:** also wooseOK i’m on my way back home i hope you’re decent

 

 **bambi:** i’m wearing boxers

 

 **thumper:** and i’m still here

 

 **pennywiser:** good enough

 

 **thumper:** i ate your last pudding cup

 

 **pennywiser:** i hate you

 

 **naganope:** this isn’t related to anything but hyunggu why is ur user pennywiser

 

 **pennywiser:** oH i went on a date with this kid last year to see IT, the ONLY date i’ve been on since starting college )): <

 

 **thumper:** oh my god we get it ur gay and lonely

 

 **pennywiser:** …...

 

 **pennywiser:** don’t fuck with me, i’ll convince wooseok to chop all his hair off

 

 **bambi:** babe he convinced me to get my dick pierced

 

 **bambi:** hyunggu can do anything

 

 **ginho:** except get a bf apparently

  

 **pennywiser:** aNYWAYS

 

 **pennywiser:** halfway through the movie he turned to me and said “if they were pennywiser they wouldn’t go in that house.”

 

 **pennywiser:** wiNKED but he didn’t rlly know how so it was more of a blink that anything else

 

 **pennywiser:** tried to kiss me and then proceeded to have an allergic reaction to the pretzel we shared

 

 **pennywiser:** and i haven’t been on a date since

 

 **pennywiser:** i think he cursed me

 

 **pennywiser:** and it’s not like there aren’t gay ppl on campus )): so what am i doing wrong

 

 **sunshine:** well yeah this gc exists

 

 **plant hoe:** just,,,,,date someone in this gc

 

 **bambi:** honestly ur luck might be better here

 

 **thumper:** you got a few options

 

 **thumper:** bachelor #1: jjingoo

 

 **ginho:** no

 

 **plant hoe:** wow rude

 

 **ginho:** i don’t date

 

 **naganope:** jinho hyung is scared of commitment

 

 **naganope:** so he just becomes rlly close friends with all the people he fucks

 

 **thumper:** okaY then bachelor #2: lee hwitaeK

 

 **sunshine:** hyunggu’s adorable but he’s not my type

 

 **pennywiser:** what does that meaN

 

 **sunshine:** too twinky for me

 

 **bambi:** *snORTS*

 

 **pennywiser:** shut up sub

 

 **sunshine:** i’m sure someone else would love to be ur cream filling tho!

 

 **sunshine:** brb shinwon and hyojong are taking shots w/o me

 

 **thumper:** okay bachelor #3: yuuuuuuuuuuuutooooooooooo

 

 **pennywiser:** can i guess ur excuse to not go on a date with me?

 

 **pennywiser:** your best friend’s uncle’s sister’s stepson’s dog’s goldfish died and you have to be at the funeral

 

 **naganope:** do you like taylor swift’s music?

 

 **pennywiser:** uhhhh no never why?

 

 **naganope:** cause that was my deal breaker

 

 **naganope:** let’s go out for pizza i’ll pay

 

 **bambi:** oH

 

 **thumper:** DING DING DING

 

 **thumper:** congratulations bachelor #3

 

 **ginho:** wow they grow up so fast

 

 **pennywiser:** im-

 

 **pennywiser:** are you sure? you don’t have to go on a date w/ me jst bc the hyungs think it’s a good idea

 

 **naganope:** you came over and watched gordan ramsey with me while i’m hacking my lungs up, covered in tissues and snot

 

 **naganope:** yes i wanna go on a date with you

 

 **pennywiser:** i get out of dance class at 7 on friday??

 

 **naganope:** perfect it’ll give me time to recover from the plague

 

 **bambi:** if only some people in this gc were as smart as yuto

 

 **celery bitch:** what goes ON

 

 **bambi:** speak of the devil

 

 **hungseok:** i’m so full of fajitas i could nut salsa

 

 **thumper:** do you think before you speak

 

 **hungseok:** am i supposed to

 

 **sunshine:** ho w wAHS u date

 

 **sunshine:** sor, lil drunjk u kno wAHGT i mean

 

 **pennywiser:** did u have fun changgu hyung?

 

 **celery bitch:** yes i ate a lot of pasta and we stayed there for like an hour longer than we should’ve bc it was some frat bitches’ bday and they offered us free dessert sO

 

 **hungseok:** so much fudge

 

 **pennywiser:** by did u have fun i meant did u get my doggy bag

 

 **celery bitch:** yeS i got you a lil bit of everything

 

 **celery bitch:** including the frat fudge

 

 **pennywiser:** wow things are rlly looking up for me today

 

 **celery bitch:** hows the drinking going?

 

 **sunshine:** g ood

 

 **plant hoe:** hui is a bit of lightweighT

 

 **plant hoe:** we’re all good over here

 

 **plant hoe:** we put a hello kitty bandaid over shinwon’s scrape and he thought it was so cute so now he’s covered in them

 

 **plant hoe:** drunk shinwon is adorable

 

 **plant hoe:** everytime he has to go to the bathroom he tugs my pants and makes me go with him

 

 **naganope:** it sounds like you’re babysitting

 

 **thumper:** why aren’t you as fucked up as them lmao

 

 **plant hoe:** the edible is like delaying the alcohol rn

 

 **plant hoe:** it’ll probably all hit me in a half and hour

 

 **bambi:** rip you

 

 **plant hoe:** hui’s trying to feed dr. professor french fries gOTTA GO

 

 **hungseok:** lEAVE THE BABY ALONE

 

**{ mcshoulders to celery bitch }**

 

 **mcshoulders:** d id u uuu have fuN on ur date

 

 **celery bitch:** won how drunk are you

 

 **mcshoulders:** drukn enough

 

 **celery bitch:** it wasn’t a date i told you that

 

 **mcshoulders:** butt u had dfun

 

 **mcshoulders:** butt hehe

 

 **celery bitch:** yes i did, hongseok’s a nice guy

 

 **mcshoulders:** nicer thhhhan me ???

 

 **celery bitch:** does that matter?

 

 **mcshoulders:** sso he is

 

 **celery bitch:** i didn’t say that

 

 **mcshoulders:** u didnnj have to

 

 **mcshoulders:** digd u kiss him

 

 **mcshoulders:** lik u kissged me

 

 **mcshoulders:** anbVF anD then pretendejd nothing ever happ pedn

 

 **celery bitch:** i think you need to sober up before we have this talk won

 

 **mcshoulders:** weRE nevergonna tajlk about it

 

 **mcshoulders:** bc u dont waNNA

 

 **mcshoulders:** nd u donttt want me

 

 **celery bitch:** won please

 

 **mcshoulders:** gooodnihgt

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor bb shinwon )):


	5. huiwon is superior

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- ginho

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

  
  


**{ sunshine to celery bitch }**

 

 **sunshine:** so uhhhh drunk shinwon told me some things

 

 **celery bitch:** like what?

 

 **sunshine:** that u kissed him

 

 **sunshine:** and then when he tried to talk to u about it you kinda just ignored him

 

 **sunshine:** what’s up with that?

 

 **celery bitch:** listen,,

 

 **celery bitch:** idk if i really wanna talk to you about this

 

 **sunshine:** no you listen

 

 **sunshine:** shinwon is one of my closest friends and i told him before that if anyone hurts him i’ll rip them to tiny little pieces and then scatter their body parts all over campus

 

 **sunshine:** and i mean aNYONE

 

 **sunshine:** including your kermit the frog headass

 

 **sunshine:** so are you gonna talk to me or what ((:

 

 **celery bitch:** you know you’re kind of terrifying right??

 

 **sunshine:** ((:

 

 **celery bitch:** me and shinwon made out like a month ago okay

 

 **celery bitch:** it was gonna go further but shinwon stopped me and told me he didn’t wanna do it if it was just a one time thing

 

 **celery bitch:** if it was gonna happen and we were gonna back to being best friends and act like everything was normal

 

 **celery bitch:** and i got freaked out bc the way he was looking at me,,,,

 

 **celery bitch:** it was like i was his whole world

 

 **celery bitch:** and idk i guess i got scared

 

 **celery bitch:** bc we’ve always been best friends

 

 **celery bitch:** and i didn’t want to ruin that by breaking his heart

 

 **sunshine:** full offense you’re a dumb ass bitch

 

 **sunshine:** you think not talking about your feelings and ignoring the issue isn’t hurting him enough??

 

 **sunshine:** you’re acting like a basic straight male who doesn’t know what emotions are and i’m disappointed ngl

 

 **celery bitch:** you sound like a whole dad

 

 **sunshine:** well you obviously need some parenting

 

 **celery bitch:** OSHSH stop roasting me

 

 **celery bitch:** i’ll talk to shinwon okay?

 

 **sunshine:** ((:

  


{ 11:43 }

 

bambi changed the gc name to

 

**the cream team**

 

 **ginho:** why

 

bambi changed ginho’s name to **oompa loompa**

 

 **oompa loompa:** fuck u

 

 **bambi:** no thank u i have a boyfriend

 

 **thumper:** and we’re not open to threesomes

 

 **thumper:** yet

 

 **thumper:** either way you have to fit a certain height requirement to get with us

 

 **bambi:** sorta like going to six flags and being tall enough to ride all the rides

 

 **bambi:** except the ride is yanan’s dick

 

 **bambi:** but i doubt you know what that’s like

 

 **pennywiser:** IM ScREAMINS

  


oompa loompa changed their name to **fuck off**

 

 **pennywiser:** wait somethings off

 

 **pennywiser:** oH hold on

 

_pennywiser added mcshoulders to the chat_

 

 **mcshoulders:** i feel like death

 

 **mcshoulders:** i feel like somebody put me in a blender without the top on

 

 **mcshoulders:** and now i’m all over their walls

 

 **naganope:** gross

 

 **mcshoulders:** yeah i know

 

 **plant hoe:** i FEEL GREAT

 

 **sunshine:** i brought him muffins

 

 **plant hoe:** everything’s better with muffins

 

 **plant hoe:** can we have muffins instead of cake @@ our wedding?

 

 **sunshine:** of course honey

 

 **naganope:** you guys are already basically married tho

 

 **plant hoe:** you’re not wrong

 

 **hungseok:** i still can’t believe hyuna is okay with you being in love with hui

 

 **plant hoe:** she knows it’s all in my heart not in my dick so it’s fine

 

 **hungseok:** well it was in ur dick once

 

 **hungseok:** and mine

 

 **plant hoe:** shut up

 

 **mcshoulders:** i woke up covered in bandaids and idk why

 

 **mcshoulders:** they’re kinda cute tho

 

 **fuck off:** that’s why

 

 **sunshine:** also you owe me a new hoodie

 

 **mcshoulders:**???

 

 **sunshine:** you don’t remember spilling margarita mix all over my white hoodie??

 

 **mcshoulders:** nOPE

 

 **mcshoulders:** was that before or after we got kicked out of taco bell?

 

 **sunshine:** …..

 

 **sunshine:** i’ll let it go this time )):<

 

 **sunshine:** only bc ur cute

 

 **mcshoulders:** it’s okay hyung!!

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’ll buy you lunch or smth

 

 **sunshine:** issa date

 

 **naganope:** idk why jinho hyung thought you and changgu hyung were dating

 

 **naganope:** huiwon is obviously superior

 

 **thumper:** wtf is that

 

 **bambi:** huiwon??

 

 **bambi:** i-is that some kind of condiment

 

 **thumper:** no sweetheart that’s hot sauce

 

 **fuck off:** no ur definitely thinking of horseradish

 

 **plant hoe:** nah nah it’s hollandaise

 

 **bambi:** omg i love neverland by him

 

 **naganope:** why are u all like this

 

 **fuck off:** ,,,,,yuto drinks dasani water

 

 **hungseok:** whaT

 

 **bambi:** yuto’s the actual devil confirmed

 

 **pennywiser:** i’d rather drink out of the water fountain near the art wing than drink dasani

 

 **pennywiser:** and i’m p sure somebody got the herp from drinking from there

 

 **thumper:** well don’t put ur lips on it like a fucking barbarian and u won’t get unknown diseases

 

 **plant hoe:** u could also say that about half of the soccer team

 

 **naganope:** i chokED

 

 **fuck off:** on your nasty dasani huh

 

 **naganope:** i may drink dasani but at least i’m not 4’10

 

 **hungseok:** wait,,,,i fucked a guy on the soccer team

 

 **sunshine:** i hope ur balls are safe

  


**{ pennywiser to celery bitch }**

 

 **pennywiser:** so are u actually gonna talk in the chat or are u gonna keep reading everything in silence

 

 **celery bitch:** i don’t have anything to say

 

 **pennywiser:** is this about shinwon hyung

 

 **celery bitch:** no

 

 **celery bitch:** i’m just the worst

 

 **celery bitch:** completely unrelated

 

 **pennywiser:** liar

 

 **pennywiser:** listen idk the whole story but you obviously fucked up in some way

 

 **pennywiser:** and i’m saying this as ur best friend

 

 **pennywiser:** if u hurt him u don’t get to hide out and make urself feel like shit

 

 **pennywiser:** nor do u get to play the victim card and wait for someone to feel bad for u and reach out

 

 **pennywiser:** so toughen up buttercup and talk to hyung bc i’m tired of not being able to hang out with my two favorite ppl at the same time

 

 **pennywiser:** fix it

 

 **pennywiser:** preferably before my date with yuto so i can have both of u guys’ support if it goes bad thanks ((:

 

 **celery bitch:** i’ll try my best

 

 **pennywiser:** that’s all i needed to hear

 

**{ celery bitch to mcshoulders }**

 

 **celery bitch:** hey can we talk?

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> will changgu ever get his head out of his own ass?? who knows?


	6. diner gays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shinwon snaps and the gc gets breakfast

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser 

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok 

shinwon- mcshoulders 

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off

wooseok- bambi 

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

**{ celery bitch to mcshoulders }**

 

**mcshoulders:** what is there to talk about 

 

**celery bitch:** there’s a lot to talk about

 

**mcshoulders:** well you didn’t want to before so why do you care now 

 

**celery bitch:** can we have a conversation without you being hostile

 

**mcshoulders:** no

 

**mcshoulders:** what do you want from me, changgu

 

**mcshoulders:** i’m trying to understand but i just don’t get it

 

**mcshoulders:** u didn’t want to talk about it so i let it go

 

**mcshoulders:** we continued on like nothing ever happened just how you wanted it

 

**mcshoulders:** i never brought it up again

 

**mcshoulders:** i tried to forget about it just like you did

 

**mcshoulders:** i didn’t tell anybody not even hui 

 

**mcshoulders:** well sober me didn’t 

 

**mcshoulders:** and now you wanna talk about it and i’m supposed to sit here and accept that?

 

**mcshoulders:** bc it only matters now that yOU’RE ready

 

**mcshoulders:** but it didn’t matter when you dropped me off and i sobbed on my porch for two hours?

 

**mcshoulders:** or when i looked right at you and told you how much it meant to me??

 

**mcshoulders:** it didn’t matter to you then so why does it matter now

 

**celery bitch:** i didn’t know you felt that way won )): i really am sorry

 

**mcshoulders:** you didn’t ask

 

**mcshoulders:** and i don’t accept your apology

 

**{ mcshoulders left the chat }**

 

-

 

{ 1:35 p.m }

 

**the cream team**

 

**bambi:** hello whores who wants to get brunch with me

 

**bambi:** i woke up this afternoon ready to stuff like 5 pancakes down my throat 

 

**pennywiser:** he rlly did just wake up like 5 minutes ago

 

**pennywiser:** also i live with u and u didn’t ask me )):

 

**bambi:** ,,,,

 

**bambi:** ur in this gc ain’t you?

 

**sunshine:** me and shinwon are already at lunch sorry 

 

**mcshoulders:** we’re at a bbq place and hui choked on a wrap

 

**sunshine:** bc you hid 2 peppers in it you bitch

 

**mcshoulders:** they’re good for you hyung i did you a favor

 

**naganope:** um i still think huiwon is thaT bitch 

 

**bambi:** stop talking about sauces yuto i want breakfasT

 

**fuck off:** i’ll go

 

**fuck off:** i’d murder someone for some french toast rn

 

**plant hoe:** i’ll go!! i want pancakes 

 

**thumper:** i would go but i don’t feel like leaving the house

 

**bambi:** i’ll bring you back the usual babe?

 

**thumper:** yes please,,thank you

 

**thumper:** i’ll eat u out later mwah

 

**bambi:** aw you don’t have to

 

**bambi:** i just wanna do this for you

 

**thumper:** ik i was gonna do it anyway

 

**bambi:** ((‘:

 

**hungseok:** y’all are somehow cute nd gross at the same time

 

**pennywiser:** i saw wooseok accidentally hit yanan in the balls

 

**pennywiser:** and he got down on his knees and apologized to his junk

 

**bambi:** i treasure my bb’s manmeat okay

 

**plant hoe:** “man meat”

 

**bambi:** otherwise known as king dong

 

**mcshoulders:** please stop talking

 

**naganope:** i would love to go but i’m still a lil bit sick and i kinda just wanna lay here

 

**bambi:** that’s valid

 

**hungseok:** i’ll come bc i have nothing better to do

 

**pennywiser:** i’ll come bc everyone else is going

 

**pennywiser:** but i’m still bitter than u didn’t ask me first 

 

**pennywiser:** changgu hyung do u wanna go??

 

**celery bitch:** uhhh sure? 

 

**celery bitch:** i’m not really that hungry tho

 

**plant hoe:** then come for the outstanding company

 

**bambi:** breakfast food and gay boys what could possibly go wrong? 

 

{ 2:48 }

 

**bambi:** spoke too soon

 

**plant hoe:** we’re never gonna be allowed to go back there huh

 

**pennywiser:** they took our pictures nd everything )): 

 

**pennywiser:** i feel like a criminal 

 

**sunsine:** did you guys get escorted off of the premises or smth??? 

 

**sunshine:** that’s the 2nd place you’ve been kicked out of this week hyojong

 

**plant hoe:** okAY the first one was ridiculous tho

 

**plant hoe:** it’s not my fault taco bell is a taco bitch

 

**mcshoulders:** what even happened

 

**fuck off:** well first of all,,,my coffee was cold so i asked for another cup

 

**fuck off:** and then they gave me one and that was cold too

 

**hungseok:** so i asked if they had a microwave and the waiter looked @@ me like i was crazy

 

**hungseok:** mE

 

**hungseok:** i was vv tempted to walk into the kitchen and do it myself 

 

**naganope:** and i p sure they would’ve called the cops on you

 

**pennywiser:** then i made a paper plane out of my placemat and i threw it bc i thought it wasn’t gonna go that far

 

**pennywiser:** ..but i hit somebody’s baby in the face and she started crying

 

**pennywiser:** rlly rlly loudly too so it was a “public disturbance” 

 

**pennywiser:** it’s not my fault their baby cries like a broken alarm clock

 

**celery bitch:** it was so loud everyone around us was pissed

 

**celery bitch:** like this old lady glared at me so hard i felt my hairline shift 

 

**fuck off:** what hairline

 

**celery bitch:** shut the fuck up ur a garden gnome

 

**bambi:** then i had to go pee and i accidentally broke the handle and flooded the bathroom,,,,,

 

**naganope:** h-how

 

**thumper:** what the fuck

 

**sunshine:** i left you alone for an hour

 

**pennywiser:** shut up dad

 

**pennywiser:** you know we’re normally better behaved than this

 

**sunshine:** ….

 

**hungseok:** we aRE

 

**hungseok:** when food is involved

 

**bambi:** !!!!

 

**bambi:** i brought you back waffles tho darling

 

**thumper:** that’s all i really care about

 

**naganope:** priorities

 

**{ sunshine to mcshoulders }**

 

**sunshine:** you know you can’t give changgu the silent treatment forever right?

 

**mcshoulders:** i can try

 

**sunshine:** listen i know you’re angry and you have every right to be

 

**sunshine:** but i think he genuinely is trying

 

**sunshine:** he wants to talk about it and that’s a step forward right??

 

**sunshine:** or at least it’s better than nothing??

 

**sunshine:** i think you just don’t wanna talk to him and you want to be angry instead bc you’re scared of being rejected again

 

**sunshine:** if you just don’t talk to him you don’t have to deal with getting your heartbroken 

 

**sunshine:** but i know you miss him

 

**mcshoulders:** ,,,

 

**mcshoulders:** i hate that you can read me so easily

 

**sunshine:** i’m your best friend that’s my job

 

**sunshine:** just give changgu a chance and if anything bad happens i’ll slash his tires myself

 

**mcshoulders:** i love you

 

**sunshine:** i know

 

**{ mcshoulders to celery bitch }**

 

**mcshoulders:** meet me at the mcdonalds at 5:30 if u rlly wanna talk that bad

 

**mcshoulders:** and bring your wallet

 

**mcshoulders:** you owe me a big mac 

  
**mcshoulders:** and a milkshake

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'm not dragging this out lol shinwon definitely needed to go off so changgu could understand how he's feeling, they'll actuaLLY talk next chapter


	7. dumb and dumber

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser 

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok 

shinwon- mcshoulders 

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off 

wooseok- bambi 

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

____________

 

it’s not that shinwon didn’t expect changgu to come but he can’t help being surprised when the other boy walks through the door. he’s wearing a leather jacket and the tightest jeans shinwon’s ever seen. he can’t help but get angry at himself for staring so hard and at changgu for being so beautiful. 

 

he doesn’t wanna just fall back in line for the other boy, forgive him too easily. he knows he has every right to be angry and he’s not going to let changgu or his pretty brown eyes take that away from him. he’s going to stand his ground. or well, he wants to. he can already feel his resolve crumbling. 

 

“hi won.” changgu says softly as he slides into the booth across from him, looking as nervous as shinwon feels. 

 

“hi.” he keeps his voice monotone, doesn’t want changgu to hear how shaky he feels on the inside. 

 

“um-” 

 

shinwon leans forward and presses a finger against changgu’s lips, shushing him. he regrets it immediately when the brunette flinches back in shock and the air around them goes from tense to plain awkward. he continues on anyways. 

 

“food first.” shinwon hums, leaning back in his seat, kind of excited to be calling the shots for once. he’s used to just giving in for changgu and doing whatever he wants to do just to hear that goofy laugh sound out. it’s nice to have some semblance of control in this situation. 

 

and he won’t lie, he kind of likes watching changgu squirm.

 

changgu just shrugs, gets up and shinwon was sorta expecting more of a fight. it seems like changgu is trying, listening at least and he can’t stop the way his lips twitch at the corners. 

 

“i want-” 

 

“i know your order won. who do you think i am?” changgu rolls his eyes and strides to the counter and shinwon watches the way the leather stretches over his shoulders. 

 

he frowns and turns to stare daggers into the tabletop, pulling his phone out when it vibrates against his thigh. 

 

**hui** **☼**

good luck!

if it goes bad i stole jack daniels from hongseok for this very occasion

and if it goes good,,,eh we can still drink it 

 

“who’s that?” changgu hums, gesturing at his phone with a greasy paper bag in hand, placing a large milkshake in front of him. whipped cream, no cherry just how shinwon likes it. changgu knowing his order by heart doesn’t make shinwon’s heart flutter per say but it’s a warm feeling, a reminder that they’ve spent so much time together. that they’re so close they just know these things about one another. 

 

it almost hurts. because all they’ve been doing lately is going back and forth, making each other feel down whether it’s intentional or not. shinwon doesn’t want to hate changgu, he could never, he just doesn’t want any more reasons to be angry. he wants this all to be over so that they can move on, no matter the outcome. 

 

“hui hyungie.” shinwon pockets the phone again after sending a small text back, “thanks for the food.”

 

“it’s the least i could do right?” the smile on changgu’s face isn’t genuine, just a brief upturn of his lips and shinwon doesn’t like it. it’s too artificial, plastic looking. “yuto thinks you and hui hyung fit well together.” 

 

“yuto’s right.” shinwon says nonchalantly, watching for a flicker in the mask changgu’s so carefully creating. “he’s one of my best friends, of course we do.” 

 

“one of?” changgu tilts his head getting a nod from shinwon as he peels back the wrapper of his burger, digging in like he hasn’t eaten in weeks. in his defense hungover shinwon only ever wants ramen and he’s been drinking for 4 days straight. “am i still a part of that list?” 

 

“if you want to be.” shinwon mumbles around a mouthful of food. “and if you’re gonna actually talk about our problems instead of avoiding them.” 

 

he hears changgu wince but doesn’t look up, is too busy kitten lapping at the cream that’s spilling over the sides of his cup. 

 

“i just wanna know why.” he finally says, meeting changgu’s eyes and they are still so pretty, swirling cinnamon beneath the lights. 

 

“i don’t wanna say it was all because i was scared because i know that sounds so selfish but it was.” changgu starts, “i was terrified of your feelings for me because i didn’t want you to have any expectations of me that i couldn’t live up to.” 

 

“you just seemed so, so deep in whatever what we had going was.” changgu takes a deep breath and it makes shinwon realize he’s been holding his the entire time. “i didn’t want to break your heart if i couldn’t be what you wanted and i didn’t want to break my own if i hurt you. you’re my best friend, won, you know that.” 

 

he reaches forward and clasps shinwon’s hands in his, “and i wasn’t entirely sure if i felt the same way you felt or if i was just going along with it because i was lonely.” 

 

shinwon appreciates changgu’s honesty even though it cuts through him like a knife. but it’s better than pretending nothing ever happened in the first place, better than drinking himself into a stupor convinced changgu wants nothing to do with him. 

 

“but then we stopped hanging out as much. and you were always with hui on the weekends and you responded to all my messages an hour late and i guess…” changgu bites his lip, eyes stuck on the wall behind shinwon’s head so he doesn’t have to look at him directly. “i guess i got jealous? and i didn’t want you to give up on me and go for hui instead once you realized he’s so much better for you than i am.” 

 

“and i know that’s not okay!” changgu rushes out and shinwon just lets him talk, running a thumb over the back of his hand. “it shouldn’t have taken you being with someone else for me to realize what i was missing. but it also helped me realize that i don’t want you to be with anybody else.” 

 

changgu brings their hands up to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to shinwon’s knuckles making him flush pink. “i don’t want you to be with anyone if isn’t me.” 

  
  
  


{ 9:00 a.m } 

 

mcshoulders changed the gc name to 

 

**got some dick don’t know how to act**

 

celerybitch changed the gc name to 

 

**fuck you shinwon**

  
  


**mcshoulders:** you already did tho

 

**pennywiser:** uhhhhh what goes on

 

**bambi:** y’all,,,,y’all be fuckin??

 

**bambi:** on god??

 

**naganope:** so huiwon’s dead huh

 

**sunshine:** not in spirit, sweetie

 

**sunshine:** she’s still alive in ur heart

 

**celerybitch:** nah she’s dead, eviscerated, gonE

 

**celerybitch:** i killed that hoe 

 

**plant hoe:** will there be a funeral

 

**celerybitch:** no

 

**plant hoe:** darn

 

**naganope:** now who do i look for for soft lovey content

 

**thumper:** me and wooseok are literally dating

 

**naganope:** yeah but you’re gross

 

**thumper:** and??

 

**naganope:** i need that wholesome shit

 

**naganope:** that fluffy good good

 

**hungseok:** you’re going on a date with hyunggu like tomorrow??

 

**hungseok:** that’s honestly all u need

 

**naganope:** you right

 

**pennywiser:** idk what that means

 

**fuck off:** i think they mean that ur the human embodiment of a marshmallow 

 

**mcshoulders:** a marshmallow with a rlly nice jawline

 

**pennywiser:** thank you? 

 

**bambi:** are we rlly gonna skip over the fact that shinggu fucked

 

**plant hoe:** shinggu sounds so mf ugly

 

**fuck off:** i don’t think changgwon is any better sO

 

**sunshine:** y’all are ridiculous

 

**sunshine:** we should obv call them dumb and dumber

 

**thumper:** *dickhead and dickhead

 

**celerybitch:** we’ve decided we’d like to be referred to as yeowon

 

**naganope:** ,,,,,i don’t hate it

 

**hungseok:** pls legally change ur name so it’s more aesthetically pleasing to ship 

 

**mcshoulders:** suck my dick

 

**celerybitch:** don’t do that it’s mine

 

**hungseok:** i didn’t want to ??

 

**hungseok:** idk where that thing has been

 

**bambi:** *snorts*

 

**mcshoulders:** half of the ppl in this gc are rude to me and i’m tired of it )):<

 

**fuck off:** u did this to yourself

 

**sunshine:** you can’t take it back now 

 

**plant hoe:** we’re all stuck together like one big family!! ((((((: 

 

**mcshoulders:** *googles how to divorce my own family members* 

 

**thumper:** ,,,,it’s disown u dumb bitch

 

**mcshoulders:** i... give up 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the beginning part is a little awkward?? i've been writing in the gc format for this the whole time so trying to put it into actual descriptive paragraphs was a bit hard! thanks for all the love and support tho uwu


	8. the date™

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off

wooseok- bambi

yanan - thumper

hyojong - plant hoe

 

{ 5:45 }

 

**rimming 101**

 

**{ pennywiser to mcshoulders,celerybitch }**

 

 **pennywiser:** *loud screeching sounds*

 

 **mcshoulders:** sorry i don’t speak hyunggu

 

 **celerybitch:** he said shinwon u a lil bitch

 

 **pennywiser:** believable but false

 

 **pennywiser:** my date with yuto is in a few hours and i’m going to Die

 

 **celerybitch:** wow a capital d this must be serious

 

 **pennywiser:** he’s so nice and handsome like literally a god on earth and i rlly don’t wanna fuck it up

 

 **pennywiser:** and i haven’t been on a date in a while,,,

 

 **mcshoulders:** we know

 

 **pennywiser:** i will rip ur intestines out and choke you with them

 

 **pennywiser:** anywaYS as i was saying

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m just nervous that i’ll say or do something dumb and it’s all gonna go to shit

 

 **mcshoulders:** um i highly doubt that

 

 **celerybitch:** me too honestly

 

 **celerybitch:** yuto seems like the #1 soft boy in our gc??

 

 **celerybitch:** even if you did somehow manage to fuck things up i doubt he would judge you for it?? or even care

 

 **celerybitch:** i think ur overthinking things too much

 

 **pennywiser:** yeah i knoW i am

 

 **mcshoulders:** okay so calm down

 

 **mcshoulders:** ur kang hyunggu one of the cutest lil twinkies on campus, he’d be a little dumb not to take u out on at least 3 more dates after this one

 

 **pennywiser:** damn ur right

 

 **pennywiser:** idk why i’m freaking out about this hhh

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m gonna go get ready for dance can someone real sneaky like find out where yuto is taking me so i know if i should dress more or less hoe-ish

 

 **celerybitch:** on it!

**{ celerybitch to naganope }**

 

 **celerybitch:** where are u taking hyunggu for ur date

 

 **naganope:** i was thinking roller skating and then dinner?? why

 

 **celerybitch:** no reason!

 

 **naganope:** okay ??

**rimming 101**

 

 **celerybitch:** he’s taking u to roller skating and then dinner

 

 **mcshoulders:** so tight jeans and that red shirt you stole from me two years ago that you can totally see your nipples through?

 

 **pennywiser:** yup! thank u hyungs

 

 **pennywiser:** i knew getting my nips pierced would pay off someday

 

 **celerybitch:** ofc,,i’m hoping that once you get laid you’ll stop being so sensitive ((:

 

 **pennywiser:** go choke on a dick

 

 **mcshoulders:** he already did

 

 **pennywiser:** hey changgu hyung rmbr when i said i wanted y’all to make up??

 

 **pennywiser:** yeah i take it back

 

______________

 **yuto** **⚝**

hey! just got here!

i’ll be waiting in the lobby whenever you’re ready ((:  

 

hyunggu takes a brief look at the message and screams, a long loud one to let out all the stress before exhaling slowly. he yeets his phone onto the bed and surveys himself in the mirror and nods approvingly, he looks good. he just hopes yuto will think so too.

 

he doesn’t want to be as nervous as he is as he gets into the elevator but he can’t help it. yuto is lovely in all sense of the word and although hyunggu’s only hung out with him once he can tell how much.

 

yuto is nice and open minded and listens so well like he’s hanging on your every word, like every single one is important. yuto seems...too good to be true. hyunggu doesn’t want to let him down.

 

on the other hand he’s scared that they’ll go out and it’ll be fun but there will be no spark. that there will be no hope for a second date and the gc will be extremely awkward from then on. hyunggu will have to move to another state and transfer colleges. he’ll have to finally admit to himself that he’s bad at dating and that he’ll never get married and live in the two story home of his dreams.

 

it’s a little dramatic but hyunggu is genuinely scared of fucking everything up. and he’s seen jinho on campus and knows the small man will take a crowbar to his kneecaps if he hurts yuto’s feelings even the tiniest bit. needless to say, he just wants everything to work out.

 

the elevator doors open with a ding and he steps through, looking around the lobby to find yuto leaning against a wall, scrolling on his phone. he’s wearing a flannel, a tight black shirt underneath, cap pulled over his head and hyunggu won’t lie. he looks hot. he glances up like he can feel hyunggu’s gaze on him and smiles, so bright it’s blinding.

 

“hey!” he calls, crossing the room in quick strides, skidding to a stop at yuto’s side. they stare at each other for a few seconds before hyunggu leans up for a hug, wrapping his arms around yuto’s neck.

 

it should be slightly weird because they still don’t know each other that well and yuto fumbles for a brief moment. but when the taller man’s hands raise to circle around his waist and pull him in, it feels right. like placing down the last piece of an 100 pc puzzle.

 

they pull apart after what seems like a lifetime and yuto leads hyunggu outside and into the parking lot.

 

“are you driving?” hyunggu asks, squinting around the carpark like he’ll be able to know which vehicle is yuto’s just by looking at it. “if not i have a metropass. we could take the train-”

 

yuto stops in front of a sleek black motorcycle, turning to look back at hyunggu with a sheepish look on his face.

 

“i hope you don’t mind riding ‘no face’.”

 

“you named your bike after a spirited away character?” is all that hyunggu can get out, stepping closing to run a hand over the glossy exterior.

 

“well jinho hyung suggested i just name it ‘midnight’ but i thought that was lame. i didn’t even really wanna name it in the first place but i’m easily peer pressured.” yuto unclips a helmet, the only one and starts to slide it over hyunggu’s carefully parted hair messing it all up. he can’t bring himself to care. “i usually don’t use a helmet because i am idiot but i figured you’d need one.”

 

he helps hyunggu onto the bike first and then straddles it with ease, placing the key into the engine, revving it up like he’s done it a million times. the calm aura yuto radiates is starting to settle into hyunggu, so much that he doesn’t think twice before wrapping his arms around yuto’s waist.

 

he’s like a boa constrictor, knows he’s probably gripping way too tight but yuto doesn’t say anything. he gives hyunggu’s hand a reassuring pat instead and they set off, wind whipping around them.

 

his cheek is almost pressed against yuto’s back and he could sit up still and watch the scenery flash past them but he doesn’t. he closes his eyes and breathes in a scent that distinctly yuto, like laundry detergent and the mint gum he’s chewing.

 

yuto’s back seems way broader up close, now that hyunggu is clinging to it and he can feel the way the taller boy’s muscles clench and unclench as he moves. if hyunggu thought yuto was hot before that feeling has doubled, tripled and quadrupled.

 

the roller skating rink isn’t far from hyunggu’s apartment building, a luxury of living in the city. the ride seems way too short but hyunggu doesn’t mind that much, they have the whole night to themselves. the whole night to get that close again.

 

when they arrive yuto holds hyunggu’s hands tightly to help him hop off safely. it makes his heart flutter a bit in his chest, like a baby bird getting ready to take flight.

 

yuto holds his hands yet again when they step onto the rink, like he’s trying to keep hyunggu upright even though he seems a lot more clumsy than the dancer is.

 

to be frank hyunggu could roll his way around the whole rink in his sleep without falling down but it’s cute watching yuto try to help even as he stumbles.

 

after yuto almost lands on his ass for the third time, hyunggu moves in front of him and guides the taller boys hands to his hips. his palms feel huge cupping hyunggu’s waist and he holds back a shiver.

 

“better?” he asks but it comes out breathlessly, clear evidence of the affect yuto has on his body.

 

“much better.” yuto murmurs into his ear and they’re so, so close but it isn’t suffocating. hyunggu wants to be closer.

 

they skate like that for a while, hyunggu leading, yuto staring at their feet to match the other’s fluid movements the best he can. they talk as they go around and around, hyunggu asks yuto questions about his classes and what he likes to watch besides gordon ramsay.

 

they bond over the group chat’s weird antics and being the younger members. after yuto lets hyunggu twirl him around some they talk a bit more and find a mutual hate for people who chew with their mouths full and the twilight movies. hyunggu pretends not to notice the way yuto's eyes flick down to his chest, lips lifting at the corners in a satisfied smirk. 

 

it’s really easy to be with yuto, hyunggu realizes. yuto is soft spoken but not in a way that gets awkward. hyunggu doesn’t have to force him to talk or spend the whole night blabbering at a brick wall.

 

yuto screeches when he almost falls and his laugh is high pitched, a big contrast to his deep voice and vocal chords sent straight from hell.

 

he spills all kinds of embarrassing stories about jinho and laughs almost evilly afterwards, complains about a beat he’s working on that is missing something in a soft pouty voice.

 

hyunggu learns that yuto is afraid of the dark and...most things which is cute because hyunggu actually isn’t scared of much. he was more terrified of this date than the latest horror film that’s out in theatres.

 

yuto talks a bit about the project he’s working on, his first mixtape and is so shy about it that hyunggu wants to squeal. he doesn’t because they’re in public but he will scream at wooseok about it once he’s home and getting ready for bed.

 

they only spend an hour and a half at the roller rink because while it’s fun, going in a circle is only entertaining for a certain amount of time. they both start getting hungry after the first hour and when hyunggu’s stomach rumbles the third time they give their skates back and head out.

 

they go to some small place on the corner to get barbecue and sit side by side instead of across from each other. yuto lets hyunggu grill the meat and he promises it’ll be delicious with a cheeky wink.

 

hyunggu spends half of dinner trying to make yuto flustered and it works every time. he brushes his hand ‘accidentally’ against the other’s when they both reach out for a piece of beef, leans into yuto’s side as he laughs and doesn’t move back to his own spot for a while, curled under his arm.

 

he moans a little too loudly when he takes his first bite just to watch yuto blush a pretty pink. some sauce ends up on his chin a few bites in and yuto leans over to wipe it off with his thumb, popping the digit into his mouth soon after. it’s hyunggu’s turn to flush and look away, shifting in his seat.

 

“say ‘aah’” hyunggu singsongs, lifting a bite to yuto’s mouth. if they make eye contact the whole time as yuto’s lips wrap around the chopsticks that’s no one’s business but theirs.

 

the rest of dinner is just them trying to one up each other, hyunggu feeding yuto again, fingertips lingering at his bottom lip. yuto leaning over to grab a napkin and balancing with a hand on hyunggu’s thigh, squeezing when he leans back. it’s playful but also hotter than anything else hyunggu’s ever partaken in and all they’re doing is playing footsie under the table.

 

adachi yuto seems to have this effect on him that he can’t deny and as they finish up the last bit of their meal, they hold hands again in the center, hyunggu tapping out a beat onto the back of yuto’s hand.

 

yuto won’t let hyunggu pay even half of the bill, insists on paying, standing up quickly so he can get to the cashier before him.

 

**changgu (the worst human on this earth)**

how’s the date going?

checking in to make sure yuto didn’t kill u and bury ur body in the woods

if he did, i severely underestimated him

 

hyunggu bites his lip, watching yuto make small talk with the shop owner, pulling bills out of his wallet. his legs seem to go on for miles, shirt riding up a little as he stretches.

 

**kino (sensitive bitch)**

it’s going absolutely amazing

at this point if yuto wanted to murder me i’d let him

 

**changgu (the worst human on this earth)**

u either need to get laid or u have serious issues

maybe both

 

**kino (sensitive bitch)**

sorry can’t hear u over how happy i am ((((:

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, my laptop was broken for like 3 weeks and i've been trying to find motivation to write again! i hope you'll excuse any errors and the fact that is severely lacking dialogue! i'll update again soon to make up for whatever this is,,thank you!


	9. use protection kids

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- celery bitch/shinwon fucker

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off  

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 12:19 pm }

 

bambi changed the gc name to

 

**yukinators unite!**

  


**bambi:** oKAY I’VE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY TO HEAR ABT THE DATE AND I CANT WAIT ANYMORE

 

 **bambi:** hyunggu’s bitch ass is still sleeping so someone spill the tea

 

 **bambi:** *coughs* yuto

 

 **naganope:** what is this tea that i’m supposed to be spilling

 

 **thumper:** we wanna know how the date went, cum nugget

 

 **celery bitch:** cuM NUGGETSGSH

 

 **naganope:** aggressive but okay

 

 **thumper:** wooseok woke me up by punching me in his sleep and now all he’s doing is screaming about ur dumb ass date so hurry it the fuck up wannabe emo

 

 **fuck off:** i like aggressive yanan

 

 **hungseok:** me too ngl

 

 **naganope:** what do u wanna know

 

 **bambi:**!!!!!

 

 **bambi:** where’d u guys go

 

 **bambi:** did u hold hands

 

 **bambi:** did u take cute pics

 

 **bambi:** i would ask if y’all fucked on the 1st date but u seem like a prude

 

 **fuck off:** oh if only you guys knew what i know about yuto,,,,,,,,

 

 **fuck off:** more importantly what he’s said about hyunggu

 

 **naganope:** sHUT

 

 **naganope:** UP

 

 **plant hoe:** no keep going

 

 **sunshine:** i am...intrigued

 

 **fuck off:** something along the lines of ‘i want to watch him choke on my cock until he cries’

 

 **pennywiser:** oH

 

**{ naganope has left the chat }**

 

 **hungseok:** IM SCREAMING

 

 **plant hoe:** SO AM I

 

 **celery bitch:** i think we’re ALL screaming

 

 **bambi:** well damn i take it back then

 

 **thumper:** it’s always the shy nd quiet ones

 

 **sunshine:** i thought yuto was the only soft bb in this chat

 

 **sunshine:** now i have to accept the fact that ur all hoes

 

 **plant hoe:** u got dicked down yesterday shut up

 

 **sunshine:** okay but what’s ur point

 

 **mcshoulders:** is hyunggu still alive or,,,,,,

 

 **bambi:** he’s hyperventilating

 

 **celery bitch:** he’s died

 

 **bambi:** can u die and have a boner at the same time

 

 **pennywiser:** SHBJDHJS BDH

 

 **pennywiser:** HEBBEHBFJH HE

 

 **mcshoulders:** i don’t speak hyunggu

 

 **celery bitch:** he said yuto’s a god among men and i’m tryna deepthroat

 

 **pennywiser:** somewhat accurate

  


**{ pennywiser to naganope }**

 

 **pennywiser:** just for future reference i kinda rlly wanna choke on ur cock (‘:

 

 **pennywiser:**  i told changgu hyung that i want you to pin me down and destroy me 

 

 **pennywiser:** so,,,,,,there’s no need to be embarrassed

 

 **naganope:** fuck

 

 **naganope:** you can’t just say shit like that

 

 **pennywiser:** why not?

 

 **naganope:** it’s kinda hard to focus when ur dick is standing at attention

 

 **pennywiser:** how about u say fuck focusing and come over instead?

 

 **naganope:** i,,,,,think that is a great idea

 

 **naganope:** give me 15 minutes ((:

  


**yukinators unite!**

 

 **pennywiser:** long story short me and yuto went roller skating and then out to dinner and it was rlly cute and fun

 

 **pennywiser:** yes we held hands

 

 **pennywiser:** yes we took a cute pic

 

 **pennywiser:** now mind ur business

 

 **bambi:** well excuse mE for wanting all the details of my best friend’s date

 

 **bambi:** i told u about me and yanan’s first date

 

 **thumper:** u told hyunggu that we went on a ferris wheel and that u gave me a handjob at the top

 

 **bambi:** is that noT what happened

 

 **mcshoulders:** did y’all get stuck at the top or what

 

 **thumper:** yup!! wooseok got scared so i tried to distract him and things got…

 

 **thumper:** out of hanD

 

 **bambi:** i’m breaking up with you

 

 **thumper:** i’d love to see u try

 

 **fuck off:** should i add yuto back?

 

 **pennywiser:** there’s no need to

 

 **pennywiser:** he’s gonna be busy for a while anyways

 

 **sunshine:** doing what?

 

 **sunshine:** oh oHHHH

 

 **sunshine:** use protection kids !!

 

 **pennywiser:** thanks dad

 

 **hungseok:** is everyone in this chat getting dick except for me

 

 **celery bitch:** hyo has a gf,,,

 

 **thumper:** so??

 

 **fuck off:** don’t be strap-aphobic

 

 **hungseok:** eat my ass u know what i meant

 

 **fuck off:** what ass?

 

 **bambi:** don’t be flat-aphobic jjingoo

 

 **bambi:** u know most of the ppl in this gc got extended backs

 

 **fuck off:** and how is that my problem

 

 **fuck off:** do some squats

 

 **plant hoe:** can’t relate

 

 **sunshine:** we love a thicc shishter

 

 **hungseok:** i jst want some dick damn )):<

 

 **mcshoulders:** ig the dick doesn’t want you

 

 **thumper:** i could set you up with a friend like i did for hui

 

 **thumper:** but it depends on how high ur standards are

 

 **thumper:** i don’t have that many friends besides y’all bc half of the ppl on campus are grimy

 

 **thumper:** and hui got the cute one

 

 **celery bitch:** it’s what he deserves

 

 **bambi:** hui’s getting that schlong and we haven’t been notified?

 

 **bambi:** i smell betrayal

 

 **sunshine:** i didn’t know i had to report for duty every time i got a good dicking

 

 **sunshine:** will remember next time

 

 **fuck off:** whomst’s pipe are u polishing

 

 **sunshine:** i,,,,,,,cannot disclose that information at this moment in time

 

 **thumper:** mmmmmmmm okay that’s not shady at all

 

 **hungseok:** it must be for good reason tho bc he didn’t even tell me )):

 

 **plant hoe:** i know whomst it is but that’s only bc me and hui share the same brain

 

 **thumper:** are you fuckin a married man??

 

 **celery bitch:** a criminal?? omg pls tell me ur fuckin a convicted felon

 

 **fuck off:** why would you want him to be doin that

 

 **celery bitch:** for the draMA

 

 **celery bitch:** wouldn’t that be such a good story to tell

 

 **mcshoulders:** babe can u pls

 

 **celery bitch:** pls what? shut up?

 

 **celery bitch:** how abt u go rob a bank first

 

 **mcshoulders:** why am i dating u

 

 **celery bitch:** bc no one else can put up with ur shit

 

 **mcshoulders:** i hate that ur right

 

bambi changed celery bitch’s name to **felon fucker**

 

 **felon fucker:** omg is this my new brand

 

 **felon fucker:** thanks wooseok

 

 **hungseok:** what even is this conversation any more

 

 **fuck off:** i have no clue but i’m sufficiently entertained

 

mcshoulders changed celery bitch’s name to **shinwon fucker**

 

 **shinwon fucker:** aw baby are u jealous of the felons )): how cutE

 

 **mcshoulders:** shut uP

 

 **bambi:** omg do u think yuki are fucking rn as we speak

 

 **sunshine:** probably and yknow what? good for them

 

 **plant hoe:** waiting until the 5th date who??

 

 **plant hoe:** yuki don’t know her

 

 **bambi:** waiting is for ppl with morals

 

 **thumper:** and we all know nobody in this gc has any so

 

 **sunshine:** heY i have morals

 

 **thumper:** ur fuckin a married man

 

 **shinwon fucker:** ur gangbanging felons

 

 **fuck off:** u slept with the priest

 

 **mcshoulders:** ur riding the pope

 

 **sunshine:** i hate every single one of you

 

 **plant hoe:** *love

 

 **sunshine:** same thing

  
  



	10. yogurt slinger 5000

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry it took me so long to update this?? my writers block has been horrendous. i'll try my best to put the next chapter up sooner ((:

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- shinwon fucker

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off  

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 6:39 p.m }

 

**yukinators unite!**

 

 

 **pennywiser:** why are there 50 post it notes stuck to my door

 

 **thumper:** y’all were being loud

 

 **thumper:** so we left a lil smth smth for you

 

 **bambi:** yeah we came home while u were getting that emo dick nd we didn’t want to interrupt

 

 **bambi:** but i think me nd yanan are scarred for life now

 

 **naganope:** why does one one of them say ‘do you think ppl have the grinch kinks?’

 

 **bambi:** oh that wasn’t a complaint that was just something im rlly curious about

 

 **plant hoe:** the answer is obviously yes

 

 **mcshoulders:** who woULDNT fuck the grinch

 

 **sunshine:** ,,,,,,,,,,,,,me

 

 **mcshoulders:** give me ONE good reason

 

 **sunshine:** i dunno about u but i don’t rlly wanna fuck someone who eats glass

 

 **shinwon fucker:** u fucked hyojong tho??

 

 **hungseok:** SHUT UPSHHSH LMAO

 

 **shinwon fucker:** idk why ur laughing u fucked him too

 

 **fuck off:** ngl if you told me hyojong was a glass eater i’d believe you

 

 **plant hoe:** ,,,,,,what does that mean

 

 **fuck off:** u look like the type

 

 **plant hoe:** eh slightly valid

 

 **pennywiser:** one of them says ‘bussy bandit’  WHOMST

 

 **thumper:** yeah i ran out of things to write

 

 **naganope:** there’s a cute drawing of a puppy on here too

 

 **thumper:** that’s a very detailed sketch of wooseok

 

 **sunshine:** CUTE

 

 **naganope:** aw )): that’s cute

 

 **naganope:** i’m keeping this one

 

 **bambi:** isn’t it wild how picasso hasn’t done anything since yanan drew that post it of me??

 

 **bambi:** someone’s shOOK

 

 **shinwon fucker:** why are you the worst

 

 **bambi:** let me hype my man in peace )):<

 

 **bambi:** u cheered changgu on while he stuffed two slices of cake in his mouth at the same time bc u bet him he couldn’t do it

 

 **mcshoulders:** bc i’m a good boyfriend

 

 **mcshoulders:** i know bc changgu gave me a ⅘ on yelp

 

 **naganope:** why only a ⅘

 

 **hungseok:** why do u have a yelp page

 

 **mcshoulders:** so changgu could rate me why else??

 

 **sunshine:** he’s being completely serious

 

 **sunshine:** i watched him make it

 

 **fuck off:** idc about shinwon doing the moST

 

 **fuck off:** i wanna know if yuto gave u that good pipe

 

 **naganope:** DONT ANSWER THAT

 

 **pennywiser:** all i’m gonna say is,,,

 

 **pennywiser:** it was hard for me to walk correctly when i woke up from my post-sex nap

 

 **plant hoe:** u know the dick’s good when it got u limpin

 

 **naganope:** i CANT BELIEVE

 

 **pennywiser:** that ur monster dick broke my pelvis?? yeah me either

 

 **thumper:** i wish i was jared, 19

 

 **shinwon fucker:** i don’t wanna hear about yuto’s monster dick

 

 **bambi:** WELL I DO

 

 **bambi:** u should name it

 

 **bambi:** i vote for ‘the leviathan’

 

 **sunshine:** no no!! u gotta give it a rlly cute name for the irony

 

 **sunshine:** i vote for ‘bubbles’

 

 **naganope:** i’m nOT NAMING MY DICK BUBBLES

 

 **hungseok:** ur both wrong here

 

 **hungseok:** the best option is obviously ‘the cockness monster’

 

 **fuck off:** did i just fall in love w/ you?

 

 **hungseok:** i hope not

 

 **mcshoulders:** HONGSEOKSFG WHY

 

 **pennywiser:** if anYONE is gonna name yuto’s dick its gonna be me

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m the only one who’s looked it in the eyeballs

 

 **pennywiser:** we’re on a first name basis now

 

 **plant hoe:** may i suggest ‘the yogurt slinger 5000’

 

 **thumper:** wouldn’t it be so cool if everyone shut the fuck up

 

 **thumper:** i’m tryna take a nap on woo’s no-ass and his phone keeps vibrating

 

 **bambi:** HEY )):<

 

 **thumper:** baby everyone knows ur ass is fun sized it’s okaY

 

 **sunshine:** it is rlly small

 

 **sunshine:** bUT cute like those lil skateboards everyone used to play with in 3rd grade

 

 **bambi:** did u just compare my ass to a techdeck

 

 **sunshine:** maybe

 

 **bambi:** thank u so much

 

 **hungseok:** hui could compare me to an inside out sock stuffed full of beans and i’d still thank him

 

 **shinwon fucker:** how,,,oddly specific

 

 **plant hoe:** once hui told me i looked like a sunflower and i cried for ten minutes

 

 **sunshine:** )): you did !!

 

 **plant hoe:** hui is the only man that matters

 

 **pennywiser:** hey yuto exists )):

 

 **thumper:** idk wooseok’s p cute

 

 **bambi:** **( ´ ▽ ` )**

 

 **mcshoulders:** *LOUD COUGHING*

 

 **shinwon fucker:** shinwon’s alright

 

 **mcshoulders:** fuck you

 

 **shinwon fucker:** shut up u know ur the light of my life

 

 **pennywiser:** CHOKES

 

 **pennywiser:** i’ve never actually witnessed you being nice to shinwon hyung

 

 **shinwon fucker:** bc i’m not

 

 **mcshoulders:** you curled under my arm and sung to me last night u little liar

 

 **hungseok:** AW OH MY GOD

 

 **fuck off:** u gotta be slightly whipped to give him a ⅘

 

 **naganope:** suddenly i am soft

 

 **bambi:** after a long day of being hard huh

 

 **naganope:** SHUT

 

 **plant hoe:** UP

 

 **shinwon fucker:** BITCH

 

 **bambi:** bold of u to assume i know how to do that

 

 **mcshoulders:** bold of u to assume we think you know anything

 

 **thumper:** hey!! wooseok has a very vast knowledge of which animes NOT to watch nd facts about narwhals

 

 **bambi:** i did a project on em in middle school and just never forgot

 

 **bambi:** don’t know how to count but i do know that narwhals don’t have teeth and that they suck prey in like kirby and then swallow them

 

 **hungseok:** i wanna be swallowed whole

 

 **hungseok:** but in a loving way

 

 **fuck off:** i take back what i said about falling in love w/ you

 

 **pennywiser:** nARWALS DONT HAVE TEETH???

 

 **shinwon fucker:** how do they eat ass then

 

 **plant hoe:** ,,,how do YOU eat ass is the question

 

 **shinwon fucker:** don’t worry about it

 

 **naganope:** y’all are kinky

 

 **mcshoulders:** shut up frankenstein dick

 

 **naganope:** was that supposed to be an insult

 

 **naganope:** bc i’m taking it as a compliment

 

 **mcshoulders:** u fucK ONCE and get all cocky

 

 **bambi:** hyunggu fucked him so good the shy part of him astral projected

 

 **sunshine:** good for you, yuto

 

 **naganope:** (((((((((:

 

 **naganope:** ig changgu hyung isn’t fucking u good enough since nothing’s changed

 

 **thumper:** OH MY GPOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD

 

 **plant hoe:** i CHOKED ON MY LEMONADE

 

 **plant hoe:** IT CAME OUT OF MY NOSE IT BURNSHSH

 

 **bambi:** i’ve never been so proud ((‘:

 

 **pennywiser:** should i be hard right now

 

 **bambi:** i’d be surprised if u weren’t

  
  


 


	11. scoobert doobert

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- shinwon fucker

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off  

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{3:22 pm}

 

**pennywiser to shinwon fucker**

  


**pennywiser:** get ur face out of shinwon’s ass for two seconds i need to talk to u

 

 **shinwon fucker:** i’m literally on the couch eating fruit loops,,

 

 **shinwon fucker:** what do u want

 

 **pennywiser:** i’m freaking out

 

 **shinwon fucker:** u do that a lot

 

 **shinwon fucker:** what happened?

 

 **pennywiser:** so me nd yuto went on a second date

 

 **pennywiser:** this cute ass mF took me on a picnic nd made lunch for us

 

 **pennywiser:** and like,,,not gonna lie the food wasn’t that good

 

 **pennywiser:** but i still almost licked the tupperware clean bc he looked so cute and shy when he was handing it to me

 

 **pennywiser:** he held my hand a lot and giggled at my jokes nd his laugh is so cuTE and loud

 

 **pennywiser:** and now i’m going thru it )):

 

 **shinwon fucker:** y’all literally fucked and u texted me to say ‘got that bomb dick’ with a smiley face then passed out

 

 **shinwon fucker:** and now you’re cryING because yuto held ur hand ??

 

 **pennywiser:** uh huh

 

 **shinwon fucker:** damn ur so whipped already

 

 **shinwon fucker:** it’s been a week hyunggu

 

 **pennywiser:** i kNOW SHUT UP

 

 **pennywiser:** he’s just )):

 

 **pennywiser:** he comes off as rlly quiet and reserved

 

 **pennywiser:** but he’s so funny and down for anything and highkey kinda weird???

 

 **pennywiser:** but in a good way

 

 **pennywiser:** how do i tell him i wanna suck his dick but like,,,

 

 **pennywiser:** i wanna be the ONLY one sucking his dick

 

 **shinwon fucker:** you say hey bro i’m tryna be yours no homo thO

 

 **pennywiser:** why am i even talking to you about this

 

 **shinwon fucker:** idk this is what you signed up for

  


**{ pennywiser to fuck off }**

  


**pennywiser:** uhhhhhhhhh i wanna date yuto

 

 **fuck off:** okay, fucks that gotta do with me

 

 **pennywiser:** well you’re closest to him so i thought you could help me out )):

 

 **fuck off:** all you have to say is hey yuto you’re my boyfriend now and he’ll be like ‘okay’

 

 **pennywiser:** ,,,,,,,,so he likes me?

 

 **fuck off:** duh??

 

 **fuck off:** i thought you knew that already

 

 **pennywiser:** well i know he likes me,,

 

 **pennywiser:** but i don’t know if he likes me enough to DATE me

 

 **pennywiser:** there’s a very clear difference between the two

 

 **fuck off:** listen, kid

 

 **fuck off:** yuto’s not traditional

 

 **fuck off:** he’s not gonna court you or pick you up in a chariot to woo you

 

 **fuck off:** and he’s only been in like one relationship? he got nervous when he had to hold ur hand

 

 **fuck off:** he probably thinks he’s the really lucky one in this to be going on dates w/ you

 

 **fuck off:** but i think you’re really fucking lucky bc yuto’s a saint in a tall ass body and even if u ask him out with a fucking banana peel he’ll say yes so

 

 **fuck off:** u should probably snatch him before somebody else does

 

 **pennywiser:** )):<

 

 **pennywiser:** do you think it’s too soon?

 

 **fuck off:** eh even if it is who cares?? that you guys’ decision to make

 

 **pennywiser:** wow how do u hold so much wisdom in such a small body?

 

 **pennywiser:** are u a dwarf

 

 **fuck off:** just go ask yuto to be ur boyfriend before i kill you

 

 **fuck off:** y’all aren’t together yet so i won’t feel bad about it

 

 **pennywiser:** SHSHSH THANK YOU BYE

  


{ 2: 56 pm }

 

thumper changed the gc name to

 

**scoobert doobert**

 

 **hungseok:** why

 

 **thumper:** just because

 

 **hungseok:** that’s valid

 

 **hungseok:** dr professor just got excited nd !! rattled his tail and hyo started crying

 

 **plant hoe:** he’S OUR SON AND HE’S BEAUTIFUL

 

 **plant hoe:** i CRY @ HALF OF THE STUFF THAT HE DOES

 

 **sunshine:** hyojong made a whole beat on garageband made up of just sounds their gecko makes

 

 **sunshine:** and it’s a fucking bOP

 

 **shinwon fucker:** i didn’t know geckos made sounds

 

 **pennywiser:** they sound like you when you’re going thru it

 

 **mcshoulders:** they sound like you when i’m laying the pipe

 

 **shinwon fucker:** both of you shut the fuck up

 

 **pennywiser:** waIT THOSE WEIRD WHEEZY SQUEAKY SOUNDS ARE CHANGGU WHEN Y’ALL FUCK

 

 **pennywiser:** I THOGUHT HE WAS SNORING

 

 **pennywiser:** IM NEVER SLEEPING OVER AGAIN

 

 **shinwon fucker:** i hate repeating myself but shut the fuck up

 

 **pennywiser:** you’re not denying it tho wow

 

 **pennywiser:** the more you know

 

 **shinwon fucker:** don’t make me make yuto tell me what yoU sound like in bed

 

 **pennywiser:** LISTEN IM SELF-AWARE

 

 **pennywiser:** i KNOW i sound like a slightly annoying pornstar but not annoying enough that you can’t finish the video

 

 **pennywiser:** better than sounding like someone’s excited lizard

 

 **naganope:** i think you sound beautiful, hyunggu ☺

 

 **pennywiser:** ……………….

 

 **pennywiser:** HSBHSFH thank u darling

 

 **bambi:** i’m not gonna lie i felt that

 

 **thumper:** he squeaked into the pillow

 

 **sunshine:** are y’all just always together? i feel like you’ve been in wooseok’s apartment for weeks straight

 

 **thumper:** bc i have

 

 **thumper:** wooseokie craves attention

 

 **thumper:** and he’s the only human i rlly wanna be around most days so

 

 **hungseok:** wow y’all are so in love it made me consider settling down for 2 seconds

 

 **fuck off:** i saw wooseok @ a 7-11 like two days ago and he tried to wrap his whole body around mine

 

 **shinwon fucker:** he does that

 

 **plant hoe:** wooseok’s literally a golden retriever

 

 **thumper:** i know i’m such a lucky bitch

 

 **thumper:** now he’s blushing

 

 **hungseok:** wikihow to get affection from ppl without having to date them

 

 **pennywiser:** find a one night stand that likes to cuddle !!

 

 **naganope:** i’m like 85% sure that u can pay someone to cuddle u ??

 

 **naganope:** but that just sounds sad

 

 **bambi:** i’m sure there’s someone on campus who’s willing to nuzzle their face in ur mantiddies

 

 **fuck off:** i’ll cuddle u if you buy me food

 

 **hungseok:** ,,,,,,,deal

 

 **bambi:** he heard mantiddies nd came running

 

 **mcshoulders:** jinho just wants to motorboat and that’s okay i don’t judge

 

 **naganope:** wow hyung i didn’t think hongseok was ur type

 

 **fuck off:** hongseok isn’t buT i want free burritos

 

 **hungseok:** ouch

 

 **hungseok:** is it bc i shaved my head and i look like an egg

 

 **fuck off:** no i don’t think i rlly have a type

 

 **fuck off:** i’m more of a ‘do i look @ you and want to suck ur dick or not’ kinda guy

 

 **mcshoulders:** i’m more of a ‘oh wow i’m sucking ur dick guess i like you’ kinda guy

 

 **shinwon fucker:** how romantic

 

 **shinwon fucker:** i’m dating a real charmer

 

 **mcshoulders:** i bought u anal beads

 

 **mcshoulders:** if that aint the pinnacle of romaNCE

  


**{ pennywiser to naganope }**

 

 **pennywiser:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh would u mind meeting me on the roof of the science building in an hour?

 

 **naganope:** sure !! but why?

 

 **naganope:** are u gonna push me off of it

 

 **pennywiser:** nO SHGHFC STOP

 

 **pennywiser:** it’s a surprise,,

 

 **pennywiser:** but i promise you’ll like it

 

 **pennywiser:** do you trust me?

 

 **naganope:** of course

 

 **naganope:** i’ll be there ((‘:

  
  
  
  



	12. uh oh spaghettios

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i honestly have no clue what this is??? it's a product of me being frustrated tbh but i still hope u enjoy ((:

yuto- naganope

kino- pennywiser

changgu- shinwon fucker

hongseok- hungseok

shinwon- mcshoulders

hui- sunshine  

jinho- fuck off  

wooseok- bambi

yanan- thumper

hyojong- plant hoe

 

{ 5:34 p.m }

 

**scoobert doobert**

  
  


**fuck off:** if i didn’t think hyojong would brutally murder me i would steal dr professor RIGHT NOW

 

**fuck off:** HE’S SO CUTE

 

**plant hoe:** he’s the most special beautiful boy to ever exist 

 

**plant hoe:** nd u can’t have him bc me nd hongseok are literally the only ones who can feed him without him trying to bite someone’s finger off ((: 

 

**bambi:** cute )): 

 

**bambi:** yananie,,,,,,,,,

 

**bambi:** **(●⌒ｖ⌒●)**

 

**thumper:** i’m not getting you a lizard 

 

**bambi:** why not

 

**thumper:** u can barely take care of yourself first of all

 

**thumper:** nd you’ll get drunk and try to feed the lizard cheetos puffs

 

**thumper:** then it’ll die and you’ll be sad for a month 

 

**bambi:** i hate that ur right

 

**thumper:** and like no homo but i don’t rlly wanna see you cry that much )):<

 

**bambi:** i love you so much 

 

**fuck off:** can y’all go be in love somewhere else

 

**bambi:** no

 

**plant hoe:** wait jinho are u at our dorm??

 

**fuck off:** yup 

 

**plant hoe:** ,,,,,,,why

 

**fuck off:** we’ve been over this already

 

**fuck off:** i’m cuddling hongseok since he’s lonely nd deprived of physical affection

 

**hungseok:** you don’t gotta...say it like that

 

**fuck off:** it’s the truth

 

**fuck off:** we already ordered chicken so i guess i gotta spoon this mf or sumn

 

**hungseok:** pLS you’d look like a backpack on me 

 

**hungseok:** i am def big spoon

 

**fuck off:** are u saying short people can’t be big spoons????

 

**fuck off:** don’t make me backhug the shit outta you )):<

 

**shinwon fucker:** i-is this flirting? is that whats happening right now

 

**mcshoulders:** uhhhhhh i’m lost too 

 

**sunshine:** i thought u said hongseok wasn’t your type,,,,

 

**fuck off:** IM NOT FLIRTING IM ANGRY

 

**fuck off:** hOW DARE HIS EGG HEADASS THINK SMALL PPL CANT BE BIG SPOONS

 

**hungseok:** oh it’s not short people, hui cuddles me all the time

 

**hungseok:** it’s literally just you

 

**fuck off:** i wld fight you but the chicken just got here so i’ll chill 

 

**bambi:** wow you’re training jinho hyung so well

 

**fuck off:** i will dropkick you

 

**bambi:** no you won’t bc you can’t reach 

 

**shinwon fucker:** now as much as i love roasting jinho hyung i have a question

 

**shinwon fucker:** where tf is yuki

 

**plant hoe:** maybe hyunggus getting dicked down??

 

**plant hoe:** i heard from hui who heard from shinwon who heard from changgu that it was good 

 

**plant hoe:** pREMIUM DICK

 

**mcshoulders:** all those bench presses yuto been doing are working in his favor 

 

**plant hoe:** maybe he’ll spin hyunggu on his dick like a fidget spinner 

 

**mcshoulders:** i chOKED

 

**shinwon fucker:** so did hyunggu

 

**thumper:** um y’all gossip about yuki’s sex life??? lmao they aren’t even together yet

 

**mcshoulders:** and,,,,,,your point is?

 

**fuck off:** iss kinda weird,,

 

**sunshine:** hUH

 

**sunshine:** how

 

**fuck off:** all i’m saying is idk if hyunggu would be comfortable with y’all just spreading around whatever info about his sex life that’s all 

 

**shinwon fucker:** they literally talk about their sex life in this gc but go off

 

**thumper:** yeah but that’s coming from theM not y’all acting like teenagers who have never seen a dick before 

 

**hungseok:** :0

 

**shinwon fucker:** weren’t you the one who exposed yuto for wanting to have hyunggu choke on his dick or whatever?? hypocrite much

 

**fuck off:** yuto told me that was okay when i asked him afterwards just in case,,, 

 

**fuck off:** nd even though yuto jokes around with us he’s actually not that open about a lot of things

 

**fuck off:** i like seeing him grow and adapt to the humor of this chat and loosen up a lil bit but 

 

**fuck off:** don’t get too comfortable 

 

**shinwon fucker:** i rlly...don’t think it’s that deep 

 

**fuck off:** well i’m making it that deep 

 

**fuck off:** now don’t get too comfortable before you make hiM uncomfortable 

 

**bambi:** me nd hyunggu literally live together and he’s told me everyTHING but i never told anyone else so ://

 

**thumper:** bc u know what respect is baby

 

**hungseok:** oop

 

**sunshine:** daMN OKAY

 

**plant hoe:** i don’t rlly like what ur implying

 

**plant hoe:** are u saying we don’t respect them orrr

 

**thumper:** obviously not enough if u couldn’t even wait for hyunggu to cuff him before u started having chats about yuto’s dick game 

 

**thumper:** i doubt you even asked hyunggu if you could tell shinwon all that 

 

**shinwon fucker:** ,,,

 

**thumper:** yeah that’s what i thought

 

**thumper:** like we get it they haD sex but y’all know hyunggu really really likes him right?

 

**plant hoe:** OFC WE DO THE FUCK

 

**fuck off:** but do you tho??

 

**fuck off:** he legit slid in my dms to talk to me abt how much he likes yuto nd wants to be with him

 

**fuck off:** i don’t want yuto to think hyunggu’s just in it for the sex or that he’s walking around telling everybody about their hookup 

 

**mcshoulders:** wow y’all are no fun at all 

 

**thumper:** it’s not about being fun it’s about being considerate

 

**thumper:** but u don’t know what that’s like mr. edgelord

 

**mcshoulders:** imma just ignore that

 

**mcshoulders:** he’s not in the chat rn so let’s just move tf on 

 

**mcshoulders:** don’t you have some lonely fuck you should be cuddling right now

 

**hungseok:** ,,,,,,,

 

**hungseok:** oh ouch

 

**hungseok:** what did i do 

 

**hungseok:** is it bc i took changgu to chilis that one time bc 

 

**bambi:** guys don’t be mean )):

 

**mcshoulders:** i’m not being mean i jst don’t think it’s cool for jinho to act like we’re the worst for telling a few jokes 

 

**shinwon fucker:** yuto’s defense squad rlly rolled out 

 

**fuck off:** idk maybe just own up to your bullshit??? 

 

**fuck off:** i called you out on smth and this whole time you’ve been tryna act like i’m in the wrong here

 

**fuck off:** if i’m tellin u yuto might be uncomfortable, instead of just brushing it off as nothing maybe just listen??

 

**fuck off:** and then if yuto was to say smth you’d def apologize but bc it’s me it’s not a big deal

 

**fuck off:** literally suck my dick 

 

**fuck off:** hongseok let’s go we’re watching the devil wears prada 

 

**hungseok:** siR yes sir

 

**plant hoe:**  stay away from my lizard

 

**fuck off:** read my username ((:

 

**{** **fuck off left the chat }**

 

**thumper:** yeah i’m kinda rlly done with this i’ll talk to y’all tomorrow

 

**bambi:** baby )): 

 

**{ thumper left the chat }**

 

**bambi:** ig i’ll talk to you guys tomorrow too 

 

**sunshine:** what is even happening right now 

 

**plant hoe:** i wish i knew

 

**pennywiser:** GUYS GYYS GUYS GUYS

 

**pennywiser:**  GUESS WHO JUST BAGGED THEMSELVES THE CUTEST BOYFRIEND

 

**naganope:** it’s me i’m the cute bf

 

**mcshoulders:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

**mcshoulders:** muhhfucking um

 

**shinwon fucker:** congrats??

  
  
  



End file.
